Sunday, February 1, 2015

None Alone One and a Half

1 1/2.
             His instructions are to move to an outpost far from the lands I know.  It is said that this place of low cover and sparse population is brown most of the year.  The only water its inhabitants get is brought from miles away, in buckets leaking, cracked, broken, or chipped.  Supplies are limited – wood is a luxury.  I wonder what I’m going to sleep on; I worry about what I’m going to eat.   Some questions, I think, are necessary.
            When I approach his tousled bedding under the ancient terebinth tree, he looks up.  He’s just been packing up everything he owns- which is not much, since he does not abide much by material objects.  In his clear eyes I see reflected his sword, his sleeping implements, a napkin with a crust of bread, a skin of wine, and his book.   All are stacked on top of one another.
“I’m going to prepare a place for you,” he says, by way of explanation. Then he says, “Go out and wait for my instructions.”
I know what he’s told me.  It was the last set of instructions he left me.  Still, I ask, “My Lord, where is it that you are going?”
“Beloved,” he says.  He stands, pulling his possessions into a neat sack with one fluid motion.  “You already know, or have you not seen?  Do you not know why we fight these battles?” 
I mumble something.  His eyes pierce, though they are sharp they are smooth.  Clear cut ocean waves wash through my being.  I speak, though I know not how.  “The light.  We are the light.”
He smiles at me, and the waves roll over me, enwrapping me in the right blend of warmth and coolness.  “For the light, we must be present, dear one.  It is the presence that matters.”
Now as I recall his words my trek seems not as long or laborious.  Safe green scenes have been far gone.  My feet scuff the dry grey earth.  The sun beats down upon my neck, the light and heat pressing to my bones.  Inside of me resides the only liquid for miles.
I have arrived.  The house has sprung from the ground, wanting and empty.  One wool blanket lies on the middle of the floor.  Some packages of food follow the curve of the walls. 
Darkness now.  No wood means no fire, which means no light, and no presence.  What did he say, though?  We are the light.  Light is more easily seen when all else is dark.  My eyes shine across the horizon, searching for a spark anywhere, but nowhere is there a flame except the slight shine of the blade resting upon my knee in the new moon.  Even it reflects blackness.
Weeks encompass days.  I hear no visitors, no enemies.  It seems I am alone in this desolation.  There are no inhabitants.  No fights occur, except the carrion so far on the horizon’s flat blue ceiling.  I watch them circle low, fight, occasionally dive, and as I sharpen my keen blade its grinding scratches on the block set words to the dance.
No word comes to me.  I stop looking for anyone.  Sitting inside day after day, I sharpen the blade.  The food supply is running down.  Sometimes I cut open the boxes, just to make my own small city, where fallen bits of rice or crumbs serve as people.  These characters have lives that I control.  They go where I want.  They look to me for their next decision. 
I figure they need things: food, water, bedding, transportation.  Dried grass or gravel bits are purposed for most objects, but I think it is not enough. 
Our food is getting low.  I cannot wait for another day.   In the waning sun’s light I steal away from the hut born of earth, towards the rising moon.  Under its rays I wander far and wide, until I can no longer recognize where I am. 
By a weed I discover a rabbit.  It becomes my food when I burn the bush for fuel and skin its furs from its scrawny flesh.  That wasn’t nearly enough. 
Farther into darkness I travel, stepping along the broadest path I can find.  There is a deer.  It’s wounded already.  When it sees me it panics, shrieking in almost intelligible utterances.  I understand what it’s saying: “End it.  End it now.  I cannot wait in agony.”  I comply with its wishes.
It may be the darkest part of the night.  I hear whispers.  Crackling twigs turn my head.  Glowing eyes stare at me from nowhere, the air, it seems.  I start choking as a line is drawn across my neck.  My hands are tied, my body bound, and I am thrown over something hard.  It is a wooden beam. 
There are many of them; I can hear them talking as we walk.  I have tried to see them clearly, but someone has placed a bag over my head.  From what I can understand, they are debating whether to kill me now, or to keep me. 
They have decided to keep me tied up for the time being. I am blindly thrown into a wall connected to some other walls.  A sharp clang tells me I am imprisoned behind steel and stone.
I have found an enemy, but I have no weapon.  They took my blade.  They took everything.  Only time they leave me, which roars against me with no little fury. 
Untold events pass by.  No battles are fought, to my knowledge.  I have all but lost hope.  No one comes to me, not even my enemies.

      🔼    



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