None Alone

1.

When my daylight fades the enemy presses in hard around me, the darkness shadows the fields of my mind.  It comes against me with smothering blankets, nets, chains, spears, darts, and swords.  Upon this great field, they rush at me alone.

I weep bitterly.  My heart grows faint.  I am paralyzed as they draw closer, seeking to enter the only space I truly have, making foul marks upon my body, robbing me of the held things in my hands.  They condemn me, reminding me of all my flaws, jeering and spitting.  Their barred, growling teeth snap like the crack of my bones.  If there was one to save me!

A light shines out into the darkness.  The voice of my Lord calls out to me.  "Rise, for you are redeemed.   I have redeemed you.  You have nothing to fear, for I am with you." 

 He clears a path.  I reach up one hand with the strength I have left.  He takes it and holds me up.  His strength flows into me.  My heart is refreshed.  A fresh breath of life goes into my nostrils and fills up my lungs. 

Beaten and battered, I take the helmet and shield my Lord gives me.  He clothes my nakedness with a tunic and breastplate, replacing the thin garments I had woven for myself.  My feet are shod with solid boots; a belt goes around my waist. 

He holds out his sword.  I take it. 

With him beside me I stand against the enemy, those whose plans are thwarted as they smash against the shield.  They throw themselves against the blade and shriek as its keen truth pierces them.  They bash, they shoot fiery arrows - the battle is twice as hard as before.

I fall down.  They run to crush me.  My Lord picks me up.  I trust in him to keep me well in my weakness.

They charge at my shield.  "Lord, you are with me," I say.  His hands are on mine, holding the shield.  I close my eyes.  There is a thud against the shield as if something had run into a solid gate.   When I open my eyes and see my enemies on the ground, I rejoice.

"Lord, you have saved me," I say, and then pause.  "Why?"

"I knew you before you were born," he says."I know who you are and where you will go.  You are very dear to me.  Of course I want to save you."

"But don't you have a large kingdom?" I ask.  "Who am I that you would be here, with me, in this place?"

"Dear one," he says, "I give you citizenship in my kingdom.  No one will raise a hand against you without my being there."

"Then why have I not seen you many times before?"  I say.  "Look here- can you see the wounds of my enemy from the other battles?"  I show him my scars.

"You didn't seek me then, but I am always seeking you.  I have been in battle with you."  He stretches out his arms, and I see great holes in his wrists.  "Those who come to me will see me.  Those who reject me will be condemned already, for I am the victory over your enemies, I am the only one who redeems you and seeks you.  The gift is freely given, but you must accept my help in order to willingly receive it.  Are you willing?"

A tear rolls down my cheek.  "Yes, Lord."

"Follow me and receive the kingdom."

I walk with him for a while, and then I go my own way.  The enemies surround me.  They attack.  I am wounded.  "Lord, save me!" I cry out. 

He comes and slays my enemies, and stays the hand of those who would shove me down.  He stands me up and holds me.  The pulse of life goes from his heart to mine.

Taking courage, my feet do not falter as the enemy runs against the end of the sword in my hand.  They scream and fall away.

 "Lord," I say, "I am not worthy to wield this sword."

"I do not call those who are able within themselves," he says.  "Know that I am with you, to hold you and help you, to guide you and instruct you in the way you should go.  Hear my words and do them, and by my words you will be justified.  Hold onto them and you will hold my sword."

"Lord, can I?"

"Do you doubt me, dear one?  Behold, I am with you always.  Do you want to believe?"

"Yes, Lord."

"Enter into the grace of your Lord."  He impresses his seal upon my heart.

"It's too much," I say.  "I don't deserve this."

"My grace is not earned, dear one.   You cannot pay me back.  I freely give my redemption to you.  It is up to you whether or not to receive it.  Do you trust me?"

"Yes.  Yes, Lord."

"Believe in me."

"Yes, Lord."

"Do my will."

"Yes, Lord."

"Follow me."

"Yes, Lord."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes?"

He smiles kindly.  "Love is not fading," he says.  "It does not change with situation.   It is not arrogant, but rather constant and kind, filled with hope, and believing.  Will you choose this?  Do you choose me?"

My very heart is moved.  I bow myself down.  "Yes, Lord.

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