Gag-Gifting: One

One

They called Gerald “The Joker”.  It had nothing to do with his face or his sanity, although occasionally the latter had been called into question in his college years.

            No, he was known for every so often buying gag gifts and leaving them with his friends, his buddies from the good old crazy days.  
There was that neon green tutu for his friend Tom, who had been the second-string quarterback for the Panthers at the time.  For a week after that they’d all called him “Mr. Tip-toes.”   Years after that the name still stuck like sun-faded window clings, sometimes on and sometimes off.

            One time at Christmas Gerald had been given fruity soap on a pink satin rope.  He regifted it the only way he knew how; he packaged it with a bunch of oleander flowers from his backyard and handed it smilingly to Bobby.  Bobby worked in an autoshop now.  If someone ever mentioned flowers or soap around him hives would suddenly burst into bloom across his back, and he would throw a wrench at the head of the closest moving thing.

            Today Gerald was putting the finishing touches on his papier-mâché pot roast dinner.   It was something he had been avidly working on ever since hearing about the business party his friend Mikey was throwing.  Mikey had gotten promoted at his work, and he wanted everyone to know about it.  He sent mass emails to everyone in his address book.  Even Gerald. 

Gerald wanted to surprise him with this fake gift, and then present his real gift.  It would be a good time.